I am consumed by this beast inside. Everytime I am touch slightly in the wrong way my whole being is changed and I am no longer myself, but rather an ill formed, diseased monster. All of my regrets, secrets, fears, and weaknesses are all suddenly brought to the surface and I gnash my teeth at each and every one of them. I endure the pain that each one of them brings and begin to hide them deep within myself, burying them as if they were some kind of treasure. However, this is far from treasure, it's pure garbage. Yes, I may be able to hide its smell for awhile but that does not prevent it from rotting. And soon again that beast will rise to the surface, only this time 10 times more diseased and sickly, bearing a stench that I can't bear, a stench that I myself can never get rid of.
- Jeremy C. Biggar
Meaning:
So many times in our lives we take all of our regrets, secrets, fears, weaknesses, and any other burdens we have and bury them deep inside ourself, trying to handle the pains on our own. Yes, it may numb the pain for a bit, but it will only return and create more chaos in your life than ever before. You can't get rid of that pain but Jesus Christ can! He will take that fowl, rotting garbage and cast it in the deepest of seas! Confess, forgive, and move forward in life. Don't let those burdens stop you! Let God clean you up and make you who He called you to be!
Jeremy, you are right. You can never get rid of the stench; but God can--and has through the shed blood of Jesus Christ. All you need to do is come to Him with a broken heart and confession, then turn from your sin.
ReplyDeleteI sense your heart--that you've already done that. So when the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.
Jeremy, God forgives us as soon as we confess our sin and turn from it. It's harder to forgive ourselves.
One time during prayer, I started berating myself over things I'd done in the past. I felt God say, "My child, you have no right to condemn yourself; you belong to me."
From that word, I learned that not only do we NOT have the right to condemn others; but we also DO NOT have the right to condemn ourselves. Only God has that right because we are His, not our own.
Satan wants to ruin any witness we might have for Christ. He uses our minds to promote his evil agenda. Don't allow him access. Plead the blood of Jesus over your mind and body.
"For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thought and plans for welfare and peace, and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Then you will call upon Me , and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear and heed you. Then you will seek Me, and find Me; when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29: 11-13 (Amplified Bible)
I'm following you on Twitter, Jeremy. Have a blessed day.